The Buzz Report: Thanks for all the laughs Video
The Buzz Report: Thanks for all the laughs Video Transcript
^M00:00:00
>> Now, from the number one on-air and online information source for the digital age -- ^M00:00:06 [ Music ] ^M00:00:12
>> Hi, I'm Molly Wood, and welcome to the Buzz Report. It's Thanksgiving week here in the US, which can only mean one thing. It's the Buzz Report "Thanks for all the Laughs" episode. These are the tech news developments I'm most grateful for over the past year, starting with the gadget of the year. What can I tell you? [ Sound effect ] The gadget of the week's the friggin' iPhone 2. What do you think? Let's get back to the news. [ Sound effect ] iPhone. I got weeks worth of material out of it, and hell froze over, and I bought one for myself. That's a winner. And now for the news, the number one story I'm thankful for this year, the nearly yearlong wooing of Yahoo by Microsoft. I've never had such great fodder. [ Sound effect ] This week Microsoft is still stalking Yahoo, which is kind of acting like an ex-prom queen with fading looks who's playing hard to get. Earlier this week, Yahoo rejected Microsoft's takeover attempt. But Microsoft won't go away, and basically said that Yahoo isn't gonna do much better. Meanwhile, Yahoo's thinking maybe NewsCorp might be a better suitor, you know, the kind with a cooler car. But Yahoo, honey, can we talk in the bathroom for a second, just us girls? Okay honey, I'm not trying to bring you down, but you're not getting any younger. It might be time to settle. I mean Microsoft can take care of you. It's smart -- smart to ask for a bigger ring, but you should take the ring.
>> Yeah, girl, take the ring. ^M00:01:30 [ Music ] ^M00:01:31
>> An update in the Microsoft-Yahoo soap opera. Things are getting serious. Microsoft gave Yahoo an ultimatum this week saying that Yahoo better come to the table by this Saturday or get ready for a proxy fight because, damn it, Microsoft's getting older, too, and it wants to have a baby. Break up. Unless you live under a rock, you know that Microsoft walked away from that hootie, Yahoo, never to return. Microsoft was all, "You're too difficult, and maybe I don't want to rush into anything with you anyway." And Yahoo was like, "Good, jerk. No mean no." And Microsoft was like, "Fine. Good luck doing any better." And Yahoo was all, "N-n-n-n-n." And Yahoo's friends were all, "Shareholder lawsuit." And if any of you still care, just go to News.com. But trust me on this one thing; Microsoft will be back. Moving on, I'm pretty sure I managed to kill off the Rick Roll, and I am so grateful. [ Sound effect ] YouTube briefly replaced all it's featured videos with links to Rickroll, which if you don't know what that is; it's the practice of tricking you into clicking a link that turns out to be the video Rick Astley's "Never Gonna Give You Up." And let me be perfectly clear here, my friends, the Rickroll is ruining America. The Rickroll is over, and it has to die. And there's only one way to make it die. Roll it, Charlie. ^M00:02:43 [ Music ] ^M00:02:48
>> Ready to make the jump? ^M00:02:49 [ Airplane ] ^M00:02:52
>> There he goes. ^M00:02:53 [ Music ] ^M00:03:06
>> That's right. The Rickroll has officially jumped the shark. All future Rickroll works are now declared derivative, and all ye who would roll another will be declared lame and behind the times. Die, Rickroll, die. I'm also happy for the brief, if painful love affair we all had with the Mars Phoenix Lander. It'll spend about three months on Mars before Martian winter comes, and it probably dies up there all alone. So, you know, don't get too attached. I'm really thankful for our big switch to high definition. I just wish we'd thought to bring a hairbrush on switch day. The new version of the phone will almost certainly be announced Monday. ^M00:03:49 [ Beeping ] ^M00:03:51 And finally, I'm grateful that the Large Hadron Collider didn't kill us all. ^M00:03:55 [ Music ] Oh no, is it time? Okay. Here's the deal. I know I'm supposed to know better, but I didn't really write anything this week because I thought -- you know, large Hadron Collider, and I just sort of figured that the world was gonna end. I know, my producer is not happy with me. If you could just -- one second, just. Now, for the news, Apple announced new iPods, which -- yay, like, big surprise. It's been almost a month since the last -- okay, seriously. Just give me, like, five minute. Just five minutes. ^M00:04:24 [ Music ] ^M00:04:35 Okay. Hi. Oh, okay. Maybe there's one more thing. [ Camera shutter ] Aw. And that's the Buzz Report for this week everybody. I'm Molly Wood. Thanks for watching. Happy Thanksgiving. ^M00:04:49 [ Music ]
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