Buzz Report: Fuzzy math and building-sized hookers Video

Buzz Report: Fuzzy math and building-sized hookers Video Transcript

Hi, I'm Molly Wood, and welcome to the Buzz Report. This week, what did I tell you about Microsoft? Did I tell you? Also, we have fun with math. But first, it's the Gadget of the Week. The Gadget of the Week is the ESPN ULTIMATE REMOTE. It just went on sale, for delivery in time for Father's Day, and it's a RED, Wi-Fi-equipped remote control that not only, you know, remotely controls your TV and stereo, it also gets on the Internet, to give you a program guide for TV listings, weather, browsing, e-mail, and text messaging. You can check your fantasy sports teams and even SHOP online with this thing. It's SICK. It's for the super ultra manly man who can't be bothered to leave the couch or use any other device other than his AMAZING $300 REMOTE CONTROL. Also, I wouldn't mind having one myself. And now for the news. Did I or did I not tell you that Microsoft would be back? Anyway, you know the news. Microsoft now says it just wants some kind of partnership with Yahoo, not to like, buy them. Like K-Fed, coming back around to Britney. It's just for stability and to control the money. Not to like, get married again. Hm. Who's Britney's pregnant little sister in all this? Ooh, we have a deal with Yahoo. Could it be US!? Yeah, I don't think I like this metaphor anymore. In other news of the week, Napster announced that its ENTIRE catalog of six million digital songs is now available as DRM-free MP3s, for 99 cents each. I think we can all agree that this is pretty much the END of digital rights management on music. And that ... only took almost 10 years. Yeah. Really. Let's take a little walk through memory lane, shall we? Napster launched in 1999, and peaked with 26.4 million users by 2001. But it was sued out of existence by 2002. Then, the music industry fought digital distribution until they finally let Apple sell digital songs on iTunes, starting in 2003. The songs were wrapped in DRM and wouldn't play on lots of other devices, and other people sold DRM songs that wouldn't play on iPods, and everybody got annoyed by DRM. But even so, iTunes Store alone sold four billion songs. SO. Using some math from the RIAA, let's see how much money the record industry COULD have made if they'd just started selling DRM-free songs back in 1999. Let's say, over nine years, they sold an additional 4 billion songs. That's like if each of the 26 million people on Napster bought one CD a piece. . So let's say the record industry gets 70 percent of the profits of the song, they get 70 percent of the four billion songs, that equals 2.8 billion dollars. Not bad at all. But that's not all, when the RIAA sues someone for pirating music, THEY say they LOSE $9,250 per song. So if they'd started selling DRM-free songs in 2000, they wouldn't have lost all those pirated songs, and they'd have actually MADE $9,250 for each of the 4 billion additional songs they would have sold! Right? Sure! What. It works when they say it. So, let's see, what's 4 billion times nine-thousand-two-hundred-fifty. I'm going to carry a bunch of ones here, I come up with 3.7 times 10 to the 13th power, which is about a quadtragogolillion additional dollars, that they would have made. AND people would still LIKE the music industry! I bet they wish they had a time machine right now. That's a LOT of money. Ok, my friends, next up, enjoy the awesome anger that is: (music) What the HELL!? With Brian Cooley What the HELL!? I didn't think that Grand Theft Auto could get any more vulgar, along come these, er, that. I got an email about this from a co-worker. Mind you not the wilting lily type -- an indie film maker type who vacations in the third world and has a tattoo of Boris Yeltsin in a bra on her ass. So I figure, what could shock her? You know, this is really just a toast if you think about it. A toast to you, Mr. Sitting on the Edge of Your Sofa in Your Boxer Shorts, mouth agape, dumb glazed look in your face, as you're awash in reflected television light, monotonously pulling the trigger and killing prostitutes and pigeons and policemen and uttering a half assed grunt each time your hit the mark. She's not a character in GTA. That's a game publisher. A big old giant whore, preying on your baser instincts to separate you from 50 bucks while telling you if it feels good it's OK. Thanks Brian, well said as always. I'm Molly Wood and this has been the Buzz Report. Thanks for watching.