The Best of the Byte - Part Deux! Video
The Best of the Byte - Part Deux! Video Transcript
[ Music ] ^M00:00:06
>> Brian Tong: Aloha. Brian Tong here, and welcome to the "Apple Byte." I'm away right now getting my tan on in Hawaii, so we decided to bring you the best of skits from the "Apple Byte" that has made this show what it is today. And don't worry. We'll be back with all the big news from WWDC next week. Now to the skits. We all love games, and "Paper Toss" is a favorite of ours.
>> [background talk] Check this out. Bam.
>> Jordan. Oh, yeah, bank shot.
>> Lebron. [crosstalk]
>> Brian Tong: Hey, hey, guys, guys. What's up?
>> Uh, you know, just playing a little "Paper Toss" over here. You know -
>> Brian Tong: [inaudible] Come on. Let me show you how it's done.
>> Are you sure? Alright. Ah. Get out of here with that.
>> Nice [inaudible] shot.
>> [inaudible] No. Go, get out of here. [laughter]
>> What a loser.
>> Brian Tong: [heavy breathing] I'll show them. ^M00:00:56 [ Music ] ^M00:01:12
>> Brian Tong: [inaudible]. Oh, nice form. [inaudible] No look. ^M00:01:14 [ Music ] [background talk] ^M00:01:33
>> Brian Tong: You know there's a reason why my name on the court is Be [inaudible]. And I know. Now, we've shown you in the past how good I am with the girls, but everyone needs help sometimes. So I turn to the Kiss Me App.
>> Brian Tong: [music] Jamie, Jamie. I wish I was that dog. Man. Hey, dude.
>> What's up.
>> Brian Tong: You know, I'm not really good with the girls, right.
>> Really. I haven't really noticed.
>> Brian Tong: You're, like, the ladies' man around here. So help me, help. What, what do I need to do?
>> Alright. Check it out. There's this app. It's called Kiss Me. I have Jamie's phone, and she has that on it. Give it a shot. Don't tell anyone. Give it a try.
>> Computer Voice: Give me a kiss.
>> I'm serious. Do it.
>> Computer Voice: [inaudible] [laughs] [kiss]
>> Oh. Hey Jamie.
>> Jamie: Hey. What's up?
>> Brian's over there. He wants to talk to you.
>> Jamie: What?
>> He's over there. He's waiting right now.
>> Jamie: Really.
>> Go now. Go, go, go.
>> Jamie: Well, it's about time.
>> Brian Tong: [inaudible]
>> Computer Voice: Sexy on the job.
>> Jamie: Well, what are you doing? Is that my phone?
>> Brian Tong: No. No. It's not -
>> Jamie: Ooh, gross.
>> Brian Tong: It's not what it looks like.
>> Brian Tong: Yeah. That was a total set up. I just think I can be too trusting sometimes. Now, not too many of you know this, but [laughs] we are quite the musicians here at the "Apple Byte." Check this out.
>> Brian Tong: [inaudible] What's going on man?
>> Just trying to make some music -
>> Brian Tong: Make some, make some music. No, no, no. Here. Check this out. I think, you know, we can relate a little. I know you're a producer. You've got this distortion static thing. We need to make music. You know that IMT thing, you got it.
>> I don't know, man.
>> Brian Tong: No, seriously. Just, just hear me out. OK. Just hear me out. I think, I think you might like this. [music] No. [inaudible] listen. ^M00:03:14 [ Music ] ^M00:03:17
>> Brian Tong: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I got more of that. Come on, now. Ah ha. You feel that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's go. Come on. Huh. Roll it backbook [inaudible] last night I saw the dance in the [inaudible]. [inaudible] I'm just looking for somebody to talk to and show me love. ^M00:03:43 [ Inaudible ] ^M00:04:30
>> What the hell is going on in here?
>> Out. Get out. We have actual [crosstalk] work to do.
>> Seriously. Podcast [inaudible].
>> Brian Tong: That was the hottest music video of the year, hands down. Alright. Now music video and iPhone apps don't seem to work with the girls. So I figured maybe I should just be myself, but I'll still use the Date Checkout to find out what a girl's about.
>> Brian Tong: Has there been that certain someone, and you can't get their number? Whoo hoo. Over here. Ha, ha. Got you again. ^M00:05:00 [ Music ] ^M00:05:06
>> Brian Tong: Don't be a wuss. Just ask for it, you dummy.
>> Brian Tong: Can I get your number?
>> Brian Tong: Well, you know, I've been trying so hard -
>> I said OK. OK.
>> Brian Tong: What? Really?
>> Brian Tong: OK. Go.
>> Brian Tong: See. That wasn't so hard.
>> Brian Tong: This is awesome. Yeah. [music] Yeah. Dude. Dude. I got her [inaudible] -
>> You need her number.
>> Nice, man.
>> Brian Tong: Now, before you do anything, you need to see what she's really about on Date Check.
>> Brian Tong: OK. So it says that she's a Libra, which is exactly the opposite.
>> Man, who cares. Who really pays attention to that?
>> Brian Tong: She lives with her parents.
>> So do I. That's fine.
>> Brian Tong: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Twenty-five criminal records? That is so hot.
>> Brian Tong: If everything looks good to you, make that call.
>> Now, what are you waiting, for man? Give her a call.
>> Brian Tong: OK. OK. I'll call her. I'll call her.
>> Let's do it.
>> Brian Tong: OK. Hello. OK, OK. Before you say anything, you know, I saw the criminal records. I don't, I don't care about that. I think that you and I should go out sometime.
>> Brian Tong: Hello.
>> Brian Tong: What? You know what? Probably dialed the wrong number.
>> I'll [inaudible]. Happens all the time.
>> Brian Tong: I'm going to try again. Alright. You know that was, like, strike two or something.
>> No. That was actually, like, strike four or five, Brian.
>> Brian Tong: OK. Thanks for that.
>> Brian Tong: Well, in a previous episode, I might have gotten a little out of hand when I talked about a cat who was able to use the iPad.
>> Brian Tong: This five-fingered feline is entranced with a green squiggly line game that's even navigating the menus, but really it's more like clawing at it, and also [piano playing] playing a musical keyboard. I can't stand cats. They aren't really animals. They aren't dogs [dog whimpering], and they shouldn't be using an iPad.
>> Brian Tong: So we heard a lot of backlash from you, the Apple Byters, but you all have someone on your side at CNET.
>> Brian Cooley: Kitty. Oh, kitty.
>> Brian Tong: Yeah. This definitely isn't an accident all this stuff.
>> Brian Cooley: Hey, BT. Is that you?
>> Brian Tong: Yeah. Yeah, Cooley. What's up?
>> Brian Cooley: Come on in for a minute. Alright.
>> Brian Tong: Always good to see you.
>> Brian Cooley: Always good to see you.
>> Brian Tong: What are you up to right now?
>> Brian Cooley: I'm just checking out my cat cams. There's -
>> Brian Tong: Cats?
>> Brian Cooley: There's Bear, and this is, this is Chance.
>> Brian Tong: Oh.
>> Brian Cooley: There's Akesha.
>> Brian Tong: Yeah. I love cats.
>> Brian Cooley: Yeah. Oh, I know you do because I just saw the new "Apple Byte."
>> Brian Tong: You saw that?
>> Brian Cooley: Oh, yeah. I saw that.
>> Brian Tong: [laughs] You know me? I like to joke around. We hang out, have a good time [crosstalk] but it's love of fun.
>> Brian Cooley: People love that. [crosstalk]
>> Brian Tong: Yeah, I do, I do. [fighting]
>> Brian Cooley: You cat-hating [beep], feline [beep], self-hair [beep], auto erotic [beep], son of a [meow]. Chancy. That's OK. Daddy's coming. Daddy's coming.
>> Brian Tong: That guy's got a potty mouth. Thanks for sticking with us, and we'll keep bringing you more moments like these and actual Apple news and stories in the future. That's going to do it for this week's show. I'm Brian Tong. Thanks for watching. We'll catch you guys next time for another Byte of the Apple. ^M00:08:08 [ Music ]
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