Created: 08/07/2008
Video description: This week, Buzz takes on pro athletes and PANKs in evaluating the worst of the social network landscape.
Buzz Report: Worst social networks ever Video Transcript
Hi, I'm Molly Wood, and welcome to the Buzz Report. This week, security-friendly
laptop bags and ultra-niche social networking...all get made fun of. Let's get started with
the Gadget of the Week.
The Gadget of the Week is the new checkpoint-friendly laptop bag from Aerovation.
More bags are coming soon from Targus and other makers--the idea is that you can fold
open the actual bag, and then send it into the screening machine, so you don't have to take
your laptop out of your bag at security. Whoa. Genius. About 2012 or so, when every
TSA agent has gotten the memo about these bags and how they work and how you don't
actually have to remove your laptop from this particular kind of bag, this is really going
to speed things up at the airport. Yay.
And now for the news. This week, a Buzz Report Special Report...the state of social
networking.
I get a lot of news releases here at Buzz Report headquarters, and a lot of them...like, a lot
of them, are about social networks. This week, I was introduced to Weplay, which is a
youth-sports-specific social network funded in part by Peyton Manning, LeBron James,
and Derek Jeter. The big draw appears to be that if you join, you can be "friends" with
LeBron or Peyton or Derek or other big-name athletes like Shaun Alexander. Not friends
like, they'll come to your house. Just Internet friends.
Also this week, I was introduced to Savvy Auntie. A site for so-called "PANKS."
That's...professional aunts, no kids. It appears to me to be a social network for people
who are over involved in their sisters' child-rearing, but whatever. The "community" for
"women who love kids" has information on books, the lyrics to children's songs, articles
about how to play with your nieces and nephews--like, I "learned" that coloring is fun
and children like ice cream. And then there's an article about Botox.
I talked to some actual aunts about this, and here are some of their comments:
"Like I really need a Web site to tell me that kids like ice cream?"
"If anyone ever calls me a PANK, I will slap their face."
So, you don't believe, as CEO Melanie Notkin says in her news release, that "PANK is
the new pink?"
"Oh, I just threw up a little bit in my mouth."
See, and here's the thing about social networking. Social networks with a lot of people on
them get bought for a lot of money, even though they don't make a lot of money. Social
networks that appeal to about 85 people who are willing to utterly subjugate themselves
to the idea that they fit precisely into the category of "youth sports fan" or PANK and
absolutely nothing else...don't seem to get out of beta. But hey, maybe one of these will
surprise me.
PANK.
And finally, let's have a look at what's Clogging the Tubes. It's the Al Dente Blog's list of
the five hot dogs that will kill you. How? By clogging the tubes.
And that's it for this week's show everyone.
I'm Molly Wood, and this has been the Buzz Report. Thanks for watching.
Buzz Report: Worst social networks ever

This week, Buzz takes on pro athletes and PANKs in evaluating the worst of the social network landscape.